I must say, it's so interesting how in such a short time, you can
feel like home when you have a good partner… or should I say, my better half.
God has always taken care of us.
In the beginning, it was like a walk in the park, just enjoying the
adventure of meeting new people (I have to say that I already had an amazing
community of friends here) and visiting new places. I had in the back of my
mind “in a couple months, I will go back to Peru for a couple weeks and I will
see my family and friends again, so I can take this”, we’d originally planned
to take a missions team to Peru shortly after moving to California. I didn’t
have a job or a car...not even a driver’s license... at least not the Californian
one, so I was not even able to leave the house if Christen and I didn’t go
together at first. Some good
friends, Steve & Kate, let us use their car for several weeks (it was a
manual transmission...I was so happy) and we saw God’s provision again. The house we were staying in was a
blessing and a challenge… a place to be and plenty of work to be done on it. We
were grateful for God’s provision and a friends’ generosity. However, in the
heat of a Fresno summer with no internet or TV, just rabbits and squirrels
living around us, I had to remind myself often… “Hey Christian, remember you
are going back to Peru in a couple months on the mission trip. Relax you will
have your freedom again, you will actually see people outside on the streets again.”
…But as always our Lord had different plans for us. The trip to Peru
got canceled, I was not happy about that at all. I wanted to go home, we had
left Peru with plans to return and I hadn’t really said goodbye. “Well Christian, you need something
else to put your hope in.”
My brother-in-law, big Pete came to live with us, usually in Peru
this could be a challenge...not for me!! Peter was that friend and voice that I
needed to hear when I was home by myself, I had somebody to hang out with and
talk in that place. God, again, didn’t give me what I wanted, He gave me what I
needed...
We got to go to camp with Capernaum kids from Fresno, and then
without realizing it, God provided me with a job and I was working and I got
into working mode... "Just work Christian, you will make everyone proud…
this is what you need!" So I worked hard and was challenged… and it opened
the door for more provision.
God’s provision came again when an incredible price on a flight came
up and I had the opportunity to go back to Peru and take care of some paperwork
and say goodbyes. “Yes!! Everything is going to be OK, it will all be normal again.” But, it wasn't. When I
got to Lima, I had all my friends, our apartment, my family, the food that I
love the most but after only 24 hours I realized...I miss my wife. We built
this together and it wasn’t the same without her... In fact, nothing was the same!! I realized that I was not
any longer the same guy that left Peru. I loved our life in Lima, I loved my
visit and time with friends, but I understood that somehow I was different. This
was a sad and wonderful thing to realize.
Back in the USA, I was happy to come home to see my wife. I was happy, thinking “I have everything
clear now” until I hit a wall… my beautiful wife was telling me that she wasn't
happy with me working such long hours (18 hour shifts regularly) Wait… What?!
Where were the congratulations, the kudos?... I did not see that coming.
Another wake up call and game changer...but I really needed this one... Christen
had told me many times that she was proud of who I was, that I was doing a good
job, but at that moment those words were taken out of my mind. Again God, God
provided and used my best friend here (Daniel was the best man in our wedding
and he and his wife just moved to Fresno to simplify living/expenses while
doing seminary and to invest more in community and to spend more time with us).
Daniel said “Hey, you need to make a decision between your work and your wife.”
I didn't realize how easy it was just to focus on working while neglecting the
person you love the most. Well, I chose my wife of course, but I was
surprised and sad that I had I let this to happen.
God continues to provide in many unexpected ways. I am beginning
classes this week towards a nursing degree. It will be a long journey, but I am
thankful that I know God will provide financially, spiritually, and
relationally along the way. I have seen that he is good and He knows what we
need.
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