Monday, July 30, 2012

Being Made Whole....


As I get better, my desire to write is coming back. The fogginess that rested over my mind until recently seemed to sap my creative energy or my ability to clearly communicate deeper feelings and thoughts for a while. This has been a challenge in how I process life, the future, the Lord, the events of 2012 so far, but its lifting.  I recently saw a neuropsychologist who confirmed officially (after an 8 hour evaluation) that there is no permanent brain damage and that while there has been significant slowing, I’m recovering and expected to continue to recover. My physical therapy has been incredibly helpful and my headaches have been greatly reduced and my general pain much less. The challenge that remains has been anxiety… anxiety in cars or traffic, in conversations and about the future.  I’m seeing a psychologist now who deals specifically with traumas associated with head injuries and its been helpful to clarify and just to know that I must continue to process these events with my community, a friend who’s my counselor, and the Lord.  Some medication for anxiety is helping me until I’m able to deal with everyday traffic and driving and have greater clarity in general. I’ve come to recognize that after only 3 months of marriage and trying to settle into a “new normal” as we joined our lived, this journey was hijacked my an accident. Everything that seemed sure, stable or clear was shaken up, literally, in my head. I must say that my love for my husband and admiration of his dedication to me in this process has only deepened. He’s cared for me, our home, been present, understanding, patient, gentle, honest, real, pushed me, and then just held me when I felt like it was all too much.  The past 7 months have been such a blur that I can hardly tell you whats happened, except that I arrived in the USA 3 months ago and began to get the treatment I really needed. I can also tell you that during this time I’ve experienced incredible grace from God, from my family, and from a community of people who’ve welcomed me in their homes, at their tables, and in their hearts. We’ve been in limbo, staying various places and living out of a suitcase that entire time. Christian left for Peru 3 weeks ago believing that I’d soon follow him, but little did we know I still had the anxiety piece to address. Its been tough. However, I’m writing to share with you that I’m experiencing hope and renewal. I’ve had wonderful times with the Lord, time to read, to soak in Truth, in prayer and to rest in Him. I feel myself coming back to life, but walking in a place of deeper dependence on My Master as my Healer, my Companion, my Counselor.  Really, I want to just thank you for standing with us. I want to thank the Lord for renewal, for promises, for hope, for healing.

Please pray that I’d continue to be healed and restored fully and that I’d be able to join my husband again in Peru and continue to walk the road that God has laid out for us. We still sense that our work in Peru is not yet done and are longing to be there, serving together, at least for another season.  Please pray for Christian as he carries on the responsibilities of life, our house, ministry without me in Peru alone.

Know that each time I send out an update, I sense a lift, a break in the intensity, a lightness of being carried by others. I don’t know how to explain it except to say that as you pray, in the spiritual realm there is a change and I feel the relief of being carried, of God’s intervention in circumstances and of a very real partnership!

Thank you, dear ones!

PS- New blog for the new name and “newly” established Ara Family…

No comments: